Nu Breed - Changes

Everybody changes, whether its good or bad! I have changed alot within the past 2 years, and all for the better, there were times before that, where i'd be sober but only for a little while! But i am proud to say that I did change, I am almost 2 years clean and sober, and I love my life! I have accomplished a few obstacles in my life! and I have to say I am happy and proud of myself! And I, myself, have changed for the good, the better! and I will continue to grow into the woman I am supposed to be! 

Pain in My Soul

I always told myself I was gonna write a remix to this song, back in my drunken days lol, now that im sober I think i can still do it! I got this! This song spoke to me when i was going thru a bad heartbreak! i felt like i died inside, my heart crumbled into pieces, but im still here and even tho i went thru a heartbreak, i know there is plenty of love inside of me! i may have died for a quick minute but im still alive here to tell my story! There is still pain in my soul, but i say THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!

Dedication

 Eventually I will write a book, maybe this blogging will get me somewhere in life, if it does I want the loves of my life to be recognized!

My book and whatever I write, all my drawings, everything I do is dedicated to my heartbeats!

Micco Osceola   Robert Osceola, Evelyn Marie, Ezrahlyn Elaine, Micco Osceola Jr.

Cierra Elaine    Jaylah Elaine

Kaleah Jean      Zamiyah Lanae, Enzo Ameer

Taeya Lanae

Joshua Steven Jr. (LJ)

Zada Jae

Eliana Angel

I love all 7 of my babies and all 7 of my grandbabies, without yall i don't know where id be! All of me loves all of yall! I love you all more than there are grains on a sandy beach and then some!

Here 4 Ya

Now this song has a whole different meaning to me! I remember being with a friend (wont say names), but we were laying side by side, and i played this song on my phone and I told him I like to hear new music, it was new to me anyway! and proceeded to explain that I just love music! I love music with a passion! but anyway the words Im still here for you, make me think that somewhere, maybe just a itty bitty part of me thinks he is still around! (my mind knows so lol)

Hey, Its me again

 So, It's been a long time since I wrote anything on my blog! So while my now 13 month old baby is napping, here I am! I posted a song, will probably post another! I would like to pat myself on the back because I am still sober! Living the sober life has its ups and downs, but mostly ups! I am working on a better me for myself and my kids! What can I say, Im in love with my babies, and Id do anything to make them happy! I do apologize it has taken so long to get here, but Im here and the further I get in my little ol' life, Im starting to feel more and more free! 

Since there is no more substance abuse or alcohol abuse, and not to mention no more physical, emotional, and mental abuse, I still suffer from a disease called depression, anxiety, bi polarism, it all has taken a toll on my mental status! Some days Im home and some days i feel so far away! I eventually come back if that makes sense, but then I get into my feelings and Im either going to cry or get mad! It is still very rare for me to smile, laugh and be happy! Im working on it though!

I am glad I am a mom of my 13 month old, one look at her and she can make my whole world do a 360, and i can totally forget why i was upset to begin with! And, Yes she is my Angel Baby my saving Grace, because if I didn't have her right now, I don't know where I'd be, I wouldn't be sober, I'd probably be out trying to find my next high, or figure out how Im gonna get my next drink so I don't have a hang over! Ugh! I can remember those sick feelings of not having what I needed and I can honestly say I never want to go back to any of that toxicity!

I think about not just my baby but all my human blessings, my other 6 babies and 6 almost 7 grandbabies that i created lol! yes, once again they are my creatures!

anyway, guess I'll post one more song, and maybe one more blog and then Im out! 

Have a Blessed Day'

                                                                          Love Me      

                                                                              ** EM **

Russ - T Pain (Official Video)

Russ has always been the music that uplifts me when i need it! I'd have to rate russ an 12 on my scale lol with 10 being the best!

Most of Russ' music I feel I can honestly relate to, its like he wrote the music just for me! (haha)